Hello, my Name is Sarah, and I'm a Caffeine Addict

  Probably one of my top five pet peeves would have to be hypocrites. I can't stand the 'do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do' parent, the Christian who cannot wait to pass on hurtful gossip, the televangelists that are capable of feeding third world countries while they shove prosperity gospel down our throats , and even the people who claim to be earth conscious and throw their fast food bags, complete with cup, in the trash without sorting the leavings properly.


  That being said, I am also keen on weeding out my personal hypocritical tenancies in an effort to become a better witness, example, and eventually minister. The eleventh doctrine in the Salvation Army is:


'We believe that it is the privilege of all believers to be wholly sanctified, and that their whole spirit and soul and body may be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.' -source: www.salvationist.org


'Preserved blameless' is what we find in 1 Thessalonians 5:23, 


  'May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.' - source: www.bible.cc


  Spiritual salvation is multi-dimensional. We are all entitled to salvation. When we accept Christ as our personal savior and allow Him to reign, we also make a commitment to keep ourselves from sin. It is sin that divides us from Christ, and once truly united, we are moved to better our relationship with Him. Some ways of growing closer to Christ include divorcing ourselves from repetitive sin, growing closer to Him through studying His word, and regular prayer. It is every Christian's responsibility to continue on the path of sanctification by safeguarding our minds, bodies and spirits from sin. 

  The Salvation Army requires that Soldiers take an oath that includes '(abstinence) from alcoholic drink, tobacco, the non-medical use of addictive drugs, gambling, pornography, the occult and all else that could enslave the body or spirit.' - source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Articles_of_War_of_The_Salvation_Army Correlating with 1 Thessolonians 5:23, it is imperative that Christians take care of themselves. Addictions can also be defined as 'a state of being and a way of life in which our desires become "attached" and our energies enslaved to certain specific behaviors, things, or people.' On one level, an addiction becomes a pseudo-idol. It robs the afflicted of their focus and ability to function normally. An individual will become dependent and compulsive. This may even lead to other sins, such as mismanaging finances, lying, or stealing. The problem with sin is that it usually grows, like a run in pantyhose. We will let small things slide, like the 'borrowing' of a quarter, that third cookie, or an f-bomb when completely stressed and burnt out. We are human, after all, right? 

  Even at my most forgiving, I will readily agree that sin often grows. When we let little things like that 'borrowed' quarter slide, we become desensitized to the notion. How long does it take before that quarter becomes a dollar? How long before it's a toonie? How long before it's twenty dollars? C.S. Lewis illustrated in 'The Screwtape Letters' that “Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one--the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts,..." Source: http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/2920952-the-screwtape-letters. 

  One day, I wiki'd 'addictive personality', and found several character traits that I possessed. I know that web diagnosis is dangerous, and that one shouldn't proclaim to be something without a professional diagnosis, but in the identification of certain personality traits, I find a scary correlation. Even my fiance read the page, and agreed. The past three weeks have been brutal. My schedule was all over the page, I have not finished planning my wedding, and I was (no, make that am) severely lacking sleep. At a Christian conference in Nova Scotia, I was bound and determined to sleep in the car to catch up. Before leaving the Charlottetown city limits, I was 'sawing logs' as my darling mother would say. Unfortunately, even after arriving into the warm reception of fellow Salvationists, my brain was fuzzy and I felt generally disconnected. 


  Free Starbucks coffee!? I rejoiced! In one day, I had devoured four cups of just-cooled liquid mana. I was alert, grasping the points, taking notes effectively, and had a wide-eyed sense of euphoria that came with a caffeine high. My friend, Hana, quickly labelled me 'Java' after noticing how much I was sipping. I normally limit myself to one cup, on occasion. 


  After the week-end finished, I 'sawed logs' all the way back home, only to start work on the following Monday feeling less than stellar. After sipping pop normally kept in the refridgio for Paul's night shifts, I found myself in a slump. I took advantage of the free coffee at work. I kept denying myself sleep, which is detrimental considering that I am unable to sleep in (which made for awkward teen years) and found myself buying 'gasp' a Monster Dry! I figured it was small and concentrated, that I also had Zumba and Red Shield, and that it was only once...


  It's never only once. Being somebody who doesn't need a whole lot to keep herself awake, finding herself sipping on an energy drink was a low. Even tonight, I remembered it, and was thirsty. It's not just caffeine in those drinks, either. My pancreas doesn't need to work overtime on the insulin to combat the sugar. I don't need the jitters. I don't need the high. I just need sleep! I allowed my body to become weak, and in doing so, I developed a pseudo-idol.


  In society, we make light of coffee/caffeine dependence. How many products do we see carry the phrase 'Give me the coffee and nobody gets hurt'? Why? If there is one thing I've noticed about the human condition, it's that we love to bond over sin and weakness. Some drug addicts will claim that an older sibling got them involved when they were younger. Why? If the sibling snitched on them, they would be in as much trouble or the brother or sister who introduced them to that type of behavior. We reveal similar secrets with a dark sense of camaraderie. Why? Does it offer solace? Does it offer validation? Do we get to breathe and realize that somebody is struggling? Do we see that maybe our 'struggle' is not a struggle, if this person is living and coping fine with the shared problem? Does their acceptance of sin in their lives make it alright for me to live with it as well. Every Christian knows the answer to that last one...


  Tonight, I opted for one more black coffee with two sugars. In one week, I will be a soldier. I will vow to adhere to the Soldier's Covenant, and to live my life accordingly. I'm also going to bed, pulling the shades, putting on an eyeshade, and keeping my alarm clock off. When I wake up, I'm going to do laundry, devotionals, and go for a run. I will not do these things out of compulsion. 


  I think most officers/church volunteers will agree and understand that I will, at times, need a cup of coffee every now and then. That is an inevitable reality. I will drink it again, but tonight, I bury 'Java' in the wastebasket.


  God Bless You, and have a marvelous week!